 Yesterday..
Was probably the hardest day.. Almost like the night my father dies unexpectantly 11 years ago.. It took my breath away...
I sat at my computer and just sobbed.. I keeped cluthing my shoulders where she laid her head... I CANNOT get the attack images out of my head... How do you do that.. How do you remember the good times when all i can hear are two last breaths..
I dont mean to discriptive.. I just dont know how to tell my hurt...
I went downstairs to the basement and she didnt folow me.. The house is quiet.. There are no toys.. No dishes.. NOT one pee pad that annoyed me..
Boo isnt there to dance for me .. Or play hide and seek which was her favorite..
How did i get a puppy with the most amazing personality.. The perfect funny.. Perfect obedience.. The way she loveddddd to snuggle. We made her a perch in the front window cause she was so nosey.. We called it ana's cabana.. She sat there all day.. And now its empty
My husband told me when im ready we could look for another yorkie (needless to say it wasnt his dog choice..and yet she was daddys girl).. I know it wont be ana but all the things that made ana special.. I would be lost without them.. Humor, cuddling...
Thank you all for even small words of sympathy.. I have read everyone over and over...
I send comfort to those with losses and pray my ana is whole again.. Eating french fries, and play round and round the tree with your babies
Jnet
P.s. not once have the people across the street come to express their sadness.. How do you go on living with such anger... |