Thank you all so much for your love and support. As always, I feel so much less alone when I am with you. You are always there for me, and I feel blessed to have such loving angels as yourselves in my life. It is now 4:15 AM PST and I cannot sleep a wink. The TV is on all night and I think I might sleep between fits of exhaustion, for about 5 min at a time. I usually call every two hours for an up date but I am afraid to call. I think I will be braver in the morning. Every time I start to call I get that scary feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like everything is moving in slow motion. Sometimes, to make me forget a little, I watch tv, or cook, or read or make some jewelry, just to get some relief, from this horrible torture, and then I feel terribly guilty that I forgot her for a moment, her beautiful little face, staring out of her O2 cage, suffering, and here I am trying to forget her pain and her suffering, something she cannot escape herself. Wow, as I type these words, I am finally crying. I am crying. It is a relief to cry, as I felt over this time that I was holding my breath...... Thank you all for your love and prayers. I'm going to try to sleep a little now. |