[docmartin]

New event today girls! Mum went to those funny windows they have about the place. She spends a lot of time with these things, hers are the biggest Dad just grunts into small ones occasionally. She spends hours posing here with lots of the kit she tries and make me get involved with sometimes - and boy has she got some, or what! Anyway I digress, today was different. I got a telling off for something or other you know when they get on one, for no apparent reason. She's directing strange words at me all the time, I think their called 'Russian', or something like that? Anyway still spouting on, it goes to that huge cupboard and gets out all the big cloths and squirty thing, that really get my goat! The old dear then proceeds to point this monstrosity until it hissed god this makes me mad, and fetched up all over this other woman, who had the effrontery to have one of us sat next to her too! Mind you, I could appreciate for once this critters views, which in fact very much mirrored mine, if you get my drift.

Continuing, she then spent ages cleaning up big squirty's mess, as did the other silly human opposite and then they both went away, leaving ME alone with this intruder. Well I can tell you we had a right barny, throwing our paws up at each other and generally getting properly steamed up. I suffer from a thing called Pharyngeal Gag Reflex, think I've got that right, which means I fleg a bit when I get animated. I think we all do this sometimes, cos the other one had made a right old churn on the big shiny window! Well what a to do!

The old girl comes back in and goes big time bannanas. Loads more Russian stuff, stupid cos I'm from Yorkshire, humans are so dumb, all the cleaning performance repeats, including the squirty fetching up all over again! I was impressed, I mean I can puke, but this was gold medal stuff surely. Bugger me, take a look, the other stoopid human was at it again too! But guess what girls, who gets the blame for it ME, there's no justice around here any more! Then the old boy appears with the camera, so I had a go at that one too, just for good measure. Shortly after and following even more Russian outburstings, I get shunted into the lounge, where I quickly resumed chewing the rug up!

Bye girls keep em at it!