[yorkietalkjilly]

I just know that pain and grief can cause all kinds of dreams. I have them when I'm especially agitated or having problems dealing with ongoing mental anguish. When I am more upset, unsettled or worried about something or in terrible emotional pain from any kind of serious loss in my life, I can dream these kinds of dreams. I dream them where I am often in a very unsettling situation in the dream with the object of the dream and much of what is happening seems beyond me or anything that I can do to effect meaningful change or fix anything. The dreams are often so frightening or upsetting as to wake me during the worst part. I guess it is just the mind dealing even in sleep with the thoughts, frustrations and distress we've had lately in our lives due to a painful situation and since we aren't awake to think more logically, maybe the mind just puts random things together reflecting the angst of the overwhelming or worrying situation. Sometimes during especially bad times in life, the dreams themselves aren't even about the thing or person or loved one I'm worried so about but about some other bad thing entirely. And yet they still seem to reflect or approximate some of the fears and emotions that the real situation in my life has been stirring up. And at times the bad dream will have a very good section like when your baby is healed up and seemingly okay - and then - poof - it's all gone or ends oddly, leaving you awfully torn up that that perfect outcome was there and then just vanished, exposing how vulnerable and out of control of the situation we felt going through it. Maybe your dreams are just your mind still trying to process a tragedy after months of living with the horror of what you went through with your baby, ending in her loss after such a hard and agonizing decision, plus the grief you're still living with, even while asleep, process some agonizing feelings and questions that have been circling around in the brain intensely since the awful event, and these all suddenly surface into a crazy mental lark of the imagination(dream) in the semi-conscious mind while your guard is down and your logic "turned off". That's what I usually chalk mine up to.