[Lil Sis]

I googles destination wedding etiquette... this is something I found

Is it tacky to register for gifts if we're having a destination wedding?
It is not tacky at all to register for gifts if you're having a destination wedding as long as you make sure your wish list covers a wide range of prices -- after all, you don't want anyone to feel pressured to spend more than they're comfortable with. "Remember that your guests will be spending lots of money to get to the wedding, and that's a huge gift in itself," says Brenda Babcock, whose company, Italia Celebrations, organizes destination weddings throughout Italy. If creating a wish list makes you feel uncomfortable, suggest that guests make donations to your favorite charity instead, or skip it altogether.

I would say get a simple --not expensive gift if you feel you must. I don't see any harm is hostessing a shower for your consin... if she would like one.

I, personaly,would talk to your brother. I am not too sure if he is "showing" proper etiquette !!!

Now... saying this.. I am very old fashion. I can not stand the practice here of having showers that the guest are "charged" to attend. I say, if you can't afford to give the shower - then don't. I will not attend a shower that I am charged to go.. So in my book -- both weddings are sort of charging the "quest" so they should not expect a lot of gifts.