Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorkieville200  Thank you for your heartfelt words. I am so sorry that you lost your precious little October.
When we lose them so suddenly, the grief is unbearable.
My Kia was a "Mama's Baby", like your October. She slept on my pillow, and one of her little beds was in my bathroom, because I couldn't even shower without her wanting to be in the bathroom.
I am still not adjusted to living without her, or Sydney.
The house is so quiet & empty.
I do understand your pain, because I am living it.
We bought our travel trailer, so our girls could go everywhere with us.
Now, we are selling it, because the mere thought of a trip, brings on too many memories.
I don't think we ever get over the pain, we just learn to live with it. |
Sheila,
I am so very sorry, I know completely and fully how you feel. My October couldn't bear the thoughts of being without me either, so she was always in my bathroom as I got ready each day. She would lay right on my robe and anxiously await as I stepped out of the tub every morning. Often, I would peek around the shower curtain just to see what she was up to while she waited. And every time...she was there. She was everywhere her mommy was. And my love for her was so deep as was her love for me. The bond we have with our angels is absolutely amazing and one words cannot accurately describe.
It is so hard, and indescribable, when we lose our precious babies. I had a melt down last night (as I do often still) and I simply prayed and asked God to be my strength, because my strength is always insufficient. And I take it moment by moment. Trying to face it day by day is too draining for me, so I take it little by little.
The re-adjusting to losing our babies is one of the hardest things to try and do (I still can't believe I am saying this, because I still can't believe October is not here with me as I type this). Our home is not the same without our baby girl - my husband and I talked about this (for the millionth time) again last night. Her portrait (we had painted of her and our other babies) still hangs over our sofa in our living room and I will never take it down.
Life will never be the same without precious October and precious Kia, or sweet Sydney - never - so trying to live without them leaves a void. Life will always be different from this point on, and it is so hard. So you are right, the pain does not go away and the loss does not go away - and
learning to live with it is the most difficult thing. It is, in fact, the hardest thing I have ever had to face.
It is so real, so painful and unbearable. Its as though you feel there is a weight and it is SO heavy on your shoulders and it will not leave. At times, it takes your breath away. And a piece of you is missing. It is so hard.
I have a video that I'd like to share with you, it really helped me. I'm getting ready to leave to take my baby Oli to drop her off at the vet for her dental (nervous wreck) but when I get back I will send you a link. It was comforting to me, so maybe it will be to you as well.
I will pray for you today.
I am just so sorry for your loss. Know I am right there with you and you are not alone.