Thank you so much......these babies were 11 and 10 years old. They were not well bred, expensive little dogs....they had not had all the health testing done.....truth be knowm they came from a broker...but they were beautiful babies, and they never had any health issues. You know how you have a specific schedule that you do every day.....we have our little ritual we go thru every morning before I go out to work....I fix their breakfast, we all stand in front of the utility room door, and I will ask all those precious little faces looking excitedly up at me, if they are ready to "cahse the kitty"??? The get so excited and bark and go in circles, anxious for me to open the door so Stacy can come from her bed in the laundry room....Crickette, Hailee, Lexee, Amber then chase Stacy thru the den until she goes over the baby gate that keeps the babies in the den area,,,,then they all run back into the kitchen, t"telling me all about it and what a great job they did"....and breakfast is served! We have done this every morning, for the last 9 years.....now my little Crickette and Hailee are gone....Crickettewas my "matriarch" that took over from my 16 year old Aija that died 4 years ago.....everyone treated Aija like the queen bee, and Crickette took on a noticably different nurturing attitude when Aija started getting to that end of life stage....and when Aija died, Crickette was the obvious "next in line" of the pack....they all treated her with the same respect and honor they bestowed on Aija. No one took the position of Alpha when Crickette passed several weeks ago.....now my precious little girly-girl, Hailee...her favorite place in the world was my bed or my lap....whereveer I was, was Hailee's favorite place....she would talk to me, those beautiful little trusting eyes, sooooooo full of devotion and love.....like all our babies, she lived for ME, and she made sure I knew it, everyday....I wanted to put her on a ventillator and let her "exist" until every single organ in her body collapsed and there was absolutely NOTHING else that could possibly be done to keep her here with me.....yes, that thought flew into my mind....but then I looked at my baby struggling to breathe, not able to even come from the oxygen incubator, and reality slammed me in my face and my heart again, began to crumble, as what I had to do demanded I face the reality of this horrible situation me and my baby girl were in.... So now, my morning ritual is down to just a pack of two. Like you moms that have more than one child, or more than one furkid, we love them all, each one is special in your heart....so it is with Lexee and Amber...they also "talk" to me each morning, they still love to "chase the kitty", although Stacy was visably confused about why Hailee was not leading the pack in their mad dash to chase her thru the den....we will get over this....I really am sorry this has turned into a novella....I really have no one to talk to, as my family, even tho they know how much all my dogs mean to me, they just do not understand HOW much they mean to me....you all know how it is....."crazy dog lady.....it has been 3 days, you need to get over it now....you cant keep squalling over a dog for this long....". So thank you for tolerating me while I sit here and cry and spill out what I can not say to anyone else....they just have no idea how much it hurts our hearts to loose these babies. |