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Originally Posted by Carmeow  Yes, it has been overwhelming. I'm sorry I haven't responded to everyone. Thank you to everyone who offered me advice here and in PMs. We had a very, very long talk last night. I think we will be okay if he keeps showing me that he's trying. Not just long enough to get out of jail free, but for the long run. I kepttelling him I wanted him to promise me things would change, but he is afraid to break a promise if he doesn't live up to my very high expectations. I just wanted him to know that I dont WANT to feel like his mother, but right now I do. It won't happen overnight.
I don't care who gets mad at me for not immediately breaking up with him. I came here pointing out the negatives but it isn't the whole picture, and its not an accurate portrait of who he is. I have to admit that I have thought for a long time that I may be struggling with OCD. I've never admitted that, even to myself, that it may be pretty serious case of it. Old habits die hard I guess but you can change habits if you keep working at it. I think I'm very hard on him and he puts up with it. I love him for that reason. So I should love him for his flaws too. |
bingo thats what i am!! i was and still am but a softer version. nothing is perfect enough because i will not allow myself to actually believe i did a good job. im very hard on myself and those around me. i strive for this ridiculous perfection that doesnt exist! im better in my old age but he has put up with me!! lol
so glad you guys talked thats what best friends do! hope the tomorrows remind him to strive for the ocd we are trying to reduce!!
becoming complacent is something that all long term relationships need a reminder not to allow.
