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Originally Posted by Carmeow  Yes, I know your husband is ill and I commend you for staying with him 'in sickness and in health'...with my boyfriends parents its a case of his mom putting up with it for 30 years and finally reaching her breaking point. He has hydrocephalus among a number of other disabilities and was verbally and mentally abusive. So I dont blame his mom for leaving.
I did give up a lot to be with him, but I had three years to think about it and I was not mentally stable while we were apart. I was extremely depressed when we dated long distance. I am happier now, and I've posted threads on YT in the past kind of seeking help on how to find myself again. I agree its not healthy for my life to revolve 100% around him things have gotten a little better, going out with friends more and having people over. I may try leaving his mess and only picking up my own. Maybe if I wrote a schedule he would have to follow it. Sad but he needs direction and structure to stay motivated. I know most people wil tell me to pack my bags. I believe I found something so special I would never find it with anyone else. He is my soulmate. My lazy, messy soulmate. I know I'm young but I just want to work it out, not give up. |
Im sorry sweetie, I think you are mistaking love for codependency. The only reason you were soooo depressed when you were dating long distance is because you never gave yourself a chance (since you were 15) to live without him. You always hung onto him.
Ive been there girl! I was soooooooo IN LOVE with a guy when I was 19. Would have done ANYTHING, put up with ANYTHING, been anything he wanted to keep him.
I was his mommy, his girlfriend, his last priority, and his doormat. Yet I stayed for 10 years. We broke up 2x for 9 months each time. I went back to him each time and kept contact with him during those time. After the 2nd time he told me he made up his mind, he loved me, wanted to be with me forever, and would marry me. 2 years later we bought a house (still no ring) 4 years later, we got engaged (after 9 years together) and 5 months later he ended it AGAIN!!!!!!
I sold the house, I moved on and told him to NEVER contact me again. It was soooooo damn hard, I LOVED him .... for all he didn't deserve my love. But knowing in my head I was DONE for real... getting my life back, being MY first priority to myself and now making sure that I was never back burnered by another man. I met my now husband ... who treats me like I am (tied with his kids) his first priority, he appreciates me, thinks of me, helps me, and I fell in love again. I thought Id never fall in love again... I thought I was broken, useless, destroyed.... and I fell in love again!! I gave life a chance w/o my ex. Who really knew, when one door REALLY closes, another one REALLY can open!