[yorkietalkjilly]

It's called Separation Anxiety by most when our dogs get upset & whine, bark, chew furniture & damage things when we leave them alone.

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to it get nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. But knowing a dog's instincts, you can work to defuse leaving and greeting sessions so that the dog isn't so anxious. Firstly, take all emotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or walk the perimeter - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's when leaving or arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm leader behaving unemotionally whatever he does. Say no goodbyes, make no eye contact and save the greeting for your dog on arrival after you have put down your things, looked at the mail and he's had time to calm down. Now greet and give affection when he's in control. This will reinforce that type behavior appearing quicker. Once your dog is older and deals with coming/going without getting unnerved, you can greet how you want.

As far as your actual leaving, usually the most problematic time for you and the dog, just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it as part of his day. But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to each step. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your leaving-the-house/desensitization training sessions short and impersonal, matter-of-fact. Once the training session has ended, you can reward him once each training exercise is over with a big, loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.

Get started desensitizing him to your leaving the house. Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing with it, after a while take up your keys and purse, put on coat and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Ignore his notice of you doing this & don't look at him when he notices. Stay cool, calm. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there holding your keys/purse/coat. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over, giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go but don't!

After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, coat, watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in his direction, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Stand there 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, no matter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things slowly away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kong toy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outside to let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay during all of this. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but do come back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it - he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food or treats, momma will be back and he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toys, treats or kongs or anything.

After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming in the house/slowly putting your things away without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car a while with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home, inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things slowly away, coming to sit in the same place on the couch where you always sit during this training.

Once you have sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play and reward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have a blast with him. Now is the greeting time for lots of love, hugs, kisses, tugowar, etc. Happy, happy rewards for his efforts are definitely in order!

If you are patient enough to do these things in this order, slowly, emotionlessly and with many repetitions, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns an anxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day. They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready to go when we get home, have our quiet moments to put our things away and greet and kiss and play like crazy.

I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as in Tamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him impulse control, self-restraint, work-related accomplishments, pride and to bond well with you as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what, as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewarding for him.