[yorkietalkjilly]

Am just now seeing this and can recall you first posting about Benjamin Button and how cute I thought his name was and how in love you were with your little rescue. I cannot imagine the shock and pain of coming home to find him like that and know it will be a very long time before that horrible memory is not a constant part of you. But you gave Benji a wonderful life full of love and peace and enjoyment in the time he had left and that is precious. He was happy and content and had achieved what every dog would wish - a wonderful, loving home where he could enjoy his best life with a person who loved and cared for him! Remember this, his death wasn't your fault and you did nothing wrong. Illness and injury and loss are the tragic parts of life and all we can do is try to live on as best we can when we face them or have lost a person or pet dearer than life to us but right now, it is far from that simple, right? Go ahead and grieve, rant and cry all that you want and get the pain out. Take each day hour at a time and just get through it. Right now is totally and utterly miserable but as you know, eventually the pain is not so fresh and sharp. Benjamin taught you much about giving and love and he would want you to continue on to help relieve the loneliness and pain of those you have been helping. Live on and honor Benji each day in the best way you know how, helping dogs and people get through the bad times. Suffering and pain usually cause most of us to reach out and to try to find a better place than we are now in. I hope that you can do that very soon.