My daughters bf's mother gave him one month to find a place to live as she was moving back in with her husband and he said her son couldn't come too. He just turned 18 and wasn't able to find a place and my 17 year old daughter was going to move with him. They didnt have the money to support themselves and they also didnt have the life skills. So my DH offered to allow him to live here with us. We gave them a choice either pay 400 per month which would include everything or pay 200 and pay for their own food. They chose option #2. We put a fridge in the garage for them, gave them a room to serve as a living room and their own full bathroom. The only chore that has been give to them is to empty the dishwasher which they seldom do unless asked.
The amount of additional cleaning that I have to do is notable and although I have complained they still continue to do nothing much around here. I could live with that.
They constantly take the cordless phones and leave them in one of their rooms as well as other items that belong to us such as the cord to the central vac. I have on occasion needed to enter their rooms to get an item. I have also entered the bedroom when repeated knocking didn't wake them and there was a phone call for them or I was asked if I could wake one of them at a particular time. My room however is entered constantly by my daughter but not her bf thankfully.
So last night her bf's brother called and we called out for him an got no reply. We believed he was home and most likely had fallen asleep watching TV so my husband went to open the door and discovered that they installed keyed locks on the "living room" and bedroom. I was SOOOOO insulted. The only reason to lock something or somewhere up is to proctect it. So of course I am left believing that the implication is that we are being percieved as theives or that we are rummaging through their belongings! I did once enter the bedroom to try to find a vital components of my vacumm and he was beyond angry. I did apologize stating that up until a feww weeks prior this was only my DDs room and she never had an issue with me grabbing something of mine from her room as she knew that I would never root through her stuff.
So now both of them are upset thinking that they are entitled to lock up part of our home. They are under the impression that 200 a month entitles them to complete autonomy and the same rights of ownership as my husband and I have. The fact that not having a key to a room containing items that could develop an issue leading to a fire means nothing even tho his stereo did catch on fire just two weeks ago.
Am I wrong? Do you think that they have the right to hold keys to part of our home and deny us access? We never said that they were renting we said 200 to cover hydro, water, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, laundry soap etc etc... This kid (her bf) was raised by monkies and seems to have missed out on some maturity. For example he borrowed 50 dollars from me and when he paid it back I promptly misplaced it. He responded by getting angry at me for losing HIS money. I want to help them I really do but I am really starting to feel disrespected in my own home. Also when our house flooded some of their stuff was in the basement and he was angry at us for letting his stuff be ruined. Believe it or not held us responsible for an act of God.
Sadly I think that he will have to go if he cant change. Even if we are wrong this is our home. We worked our butts off to own a home and I will be d@mned if I am going to let a kid tell me what I can and cant do.
So opinions? Suggestions on how to get a couple of morons to understand why this isnt right if you do agree?
Sometimes its better to get opinions from those who are not involved as there is greater clarity.
Thanks guys and pray for me that the drama and crazyness that has been plaguing us for the last 6 years will come to an end. I now know what the saying no good deed goes unpunished means.
Thanks
