Thanks to everyone for your advice. Even tho its killing me I am not going to try to contact her. I have spent years trying to make her happy and along the way I lost her respect. I guess thats what happens when you try too hard. My DH, SIL and MIL all are advising me to wait for her to contact me. I am not counting on that happening as she is prideful and stubborn and it would take something big for her to swallow her pride and approach me. The reason I have decided not to contact her is that if I do she will continue to view me as someone with no self respect and she will continue to take me for granted. I love her with all of my heart and its going to take a long time before I stop pretending to be ok and start being ok but enough is enough. The fact that she can be so cold to me when I know I have been nothing but kind is beyond belief. I just pray that there comes a day when she decides that she really does give a crap and that she misses me. I have a feeling however that that day is a long long ways away.
Thanks again, my friends here at YT have never failed to be there when I need help and support and I truly appreciate it.
Tina
