Oh I can relate. Ginger usually goes to a groomer but they did such a lousy job last time I thought I would try it myself. This past Sunday, I groomed her. She did great for the body, but as the OP said, she is running around with parachute pants for legs.
She HATES me touching her legs or paws. She also has a huge head of hair as I didn't do her head yet. Will tackle that this weekend!