Let me preface this with the fact that I also don't have kids. And loved as I was, was happy to leave home at 18 and really haven't been back. Those early years of making mistakes and doing with little were some of my best years. And I fundamentally think that many people today, do too much for their kids, and that too many children grow up feeling like they should have everything they want, and the world should revolve around them.
Now, not saying you enabled any of this...seems to me you were reasonable and supportive. Your daughter is angry...its ok to be angry, she currently thinks she has it hard, and her perception is her truth. As much as you want her not to feel that way, she does. I would let her be angry...if she hasn't approached you on her own by the end of the summer (or the next occasion...birthday etc)...then I would send her a, "I'm thinking of you" card...stating nothing more then you are thinking of her and missing her...maybe invite her out for coffee...This way you will make it clear that she can be angry, but you still love her...doesn't mean that you think she is right or that she can manipulate you back into her life by using such childish gestures (unfriending your mother is pretty childish really) Don't make this incident to be more than it is...her unhappy and not yet ready to accept that only she can make herself happy. It is not your job, your DH's job or her BF job to create her happiness...and she'll figure that out eventually. (Hopefully)
Stay strong... |