I’m so sorry that you lost your Chloe. From your post I can feel the pain and heartache you’re in from her passing. These little ones become so much a part of our lives, we can never imagine them not being there sharing every moment with us. They truly become one of our closest friends and companions. Having lost two of my own I can truly relate to your post. The guilt and the questioning of ourselves concerning the circumstances of the loss can be so overwhelming, it just seems to consume every moment of the day....
Unfortunately, I do believe that guilt is part of the grieving process. Grief is natural, and even healing; allow it to take its course. Sometimes, we may start to feel guilty for just about everything. It will lessen with time. When you love that intensely, it is almost impossible not to feel it. We must remember as well that not everything is in our control. We might like to think it is, hope that it is, but there are times it simply isn't. I’ve just had to come to a place of acceptance that the *why’s?* surrounding the loss will never be answered to my satisfaction. Only caring, responsible pet owners go through this agony…..
For me, after the loss of each boy, there was a part of me that did not want to feel better, as painful as it was. After all that was all I had left, I didn’t want to let go of it just yet. The thought of "feeling better” seemed disrespectful. "Feeling better" was not an option, not just yet, it seemed like "letting go," was letting go of him, I just wasn’t ready to do that ………
It’s now been a year and I can say that there are still some sad days. It took months before I could even talk about him without sobbing. I hope for you that you can get to a place of peace when you think of Chloe. She was loved and given every opportunity for a great quality of life even if you couldn't save her. The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone……..
Say not, in grief, that she has gone
But, give thanks that
she was yours………
RIP Chloe.....I wish you peace and pleasant memories when you think of Chloe.
Huggs, B.J.