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Originally Posted by keova1  Thank you so much. I get what you are saying and while it may be true I just can't get over her being gone. Yes I gave her life and I made sure she had a wonderful life but I just can't understand why it could be taken away so quickly and unexpectedly. I enjoyed every minute of time I had with her but the fact that it ended so quickly, without reason and without me being there makes me question what was the point? If she was only going to get to live a short life and I was only going to get to enjoy her company for such a short period of time, why couldn't it just have happened when it was expected from the vet. Why die while sleeping in the bed with her mother and father as well as my mother and father. I get that she died with people who loved her but it just doesn't make since, I can't accept it. I know that sounds harsh but I am at a point in my life that I just don't understand the reason for anything anymore. I am sorry for ranting. |
I am so so sorry for the loss of your baby.
If it helps in any way at all, I had a almost 5 month old boy named Stuart. He was the picture of health. I got him at 12 weeks old and he was my baby. I had a fiance (over 10 years together) and owned a home with him. Well, we broke up and I had to sell our house and cancel our wedding. One day I came home during all this and noticed my Stuart was not well. I just picked him up RUSHED him to the ER vet and they did what they could for 20 mins but it was too late. He passed. They did do a necropsy and then cremated him and sent me his ashes. He had ingested rat poison .... not in our house, I don't know where. I was with him when he passed, but honestly it did not make it ANY easier what-so-ever.
So I had a broken heart from my break up, was in the middle of selling my house and moving and then my baby just suddenly died one night. I thought I would LOSE it. Honestly I did.
I took any sleeping aid I could find, I slept a lot for about 5 days, the rest of the time I sat around memorized by nothing, staring into nothing for hours, not thinking, not eating, not talking... I was inconsolable. I wondered what the point was also, I mean why did I have to go through SUCH heart ache? What did I do in my life to deserve that?
I never figured it out. I do know that I got up one day, went back to work, went through the motions, I sold my house, bought my own townhouse, moved into it, got 2 new puppies (who are almost 7 years old now), sat on my new couch and cried for a year.
Then I met a GREAT man, who loves my boys, got a new job, moved with him (still own my townhouse rent it out), then got engaged, then got married, then got a better job, then bought a BMW, still have my 2 beautiful boys and **BOOM** realized I was OVER everything I went through. It was not easy and I was broken. I never figured out WHY things had to go that way. Although I could take a stab at it, that my boy who died, would have been a tie between my ex fiance & I. That was such a toxic relationship and maybe he needed to pass so that I could someday lose the ex and move on with my life without any ties to my past life.
Please, hang in there.... life has something BIG in store for you and maybe all of this turmoil and emotional disaster will all make sense.
My heart aches for you right now though. RIP sweet Chloe, you were one very lucky girl to be loved soooo much by your kind Daddy!