Ya know, I really admire you for speaking up and sharing your feelings - that takes a lot of courage -- and actually, it shows how much you really DO care for Marley, bc you're willing to take the risk of starting a potentially sensitive subject...for the goal and hope of making it better for Marley and you, and understanding whatever the feelings are. That's wonderful
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This thread already contains some staggeringly good advice, so I've really nothing to add in terms of suggestions. My take on what you're going through is that you're very, very overwhelmed - and that's okay, and that's normal. Literally tell yourself that it's OK to feel overwhelmed...often just giving yourself the permission and acknowledgement can be a great relief to some of the anxiety. I can get very overwhelmed by things too - and when I get that way, I can really let my brain get into a spiral of catastrophic thinking, as in "OMG, why did I get this puppy? WHAT was I thinking? It's too much, I can't handle it, I'm a bad dog Mom. I'm horrible for having anxiety about this puppy. I'm a failure at being a puppy Mom after 2 days. OMG, what am I going to do?" -- yup, yup, I'm sure we've alllllll been there, at one time or another.
Keep breathing, have patience not just for that puppy (as you already do) but also for
YOU - this is a huge new responsibility and experience. Maybe pat yourself on the back a little bit for taking this so seriously, and having such strong feelings, and identifying your fears -- that's not a bad thing, at all! All of this awareness you're experiencing is what will get you thru to the other side of it.
Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if needed....and tell yourself you don't have to make any decision right this minute. Create some space around that anxiety so you have a little room to stretch and relax. And cuddle up w/ that puppy for some puppy breath.
