[Deadbug]

My house is cooled with an evaporative cooler, as most of the houses are in the desert. They're incredibly efficient and also incredibly evil to get up and running for the season. I dread this time of year.

* Go to Home Depot and get new pads.
* Climb onto the roof
* Curse about the 3 layers of skin the shingles just ripped off my arms from climbing onto the second peak while my central AC having neighbors watch me.
* Realize it's a long way down. Breathe.
* Take off the cover and toss it to the driveway only to have it land on the dormer instead.
* Oil the motor and drum
* Realize that for the second year in a row you got the wrong size pads (why can't these things be universal?)
* Climb down, (damn shingles), retrieve the cover, return the pads and get the right size.
* Get back onto the roof and attempt to replace the pads.
* Remove another 2 layers of skin
* Realize you forgot to turn on the water.
* Climb down, go to the basement, turn on the water, climb back up (more skin) and wait 30 minutes for the base to fill up.
* Climb down, turn on the pump and return to the roof to check the nozzles are soaking the pads.
* Realize one of them is plugged (ACK!)
* *sigh* climb down (*&#%! shingles!), turn off the pump, and get a piece of wire to unblock the water lines.
* Get back on the friggin roof and clear all the water lines. Entertain the idea of installing metal roofing
* Climb back down (I'm a skeleton now) and turn on the pump for the second time.
* Yep.... back to the roof, verify the pads are wetting down, adjust the float to keep the water from overflowing (again) and take a break.
* Satisfied, climb back down while shouting profanities that would embarrass a sailor as the neighbors watch.
* Remove the insulating pillow, vacuum the chute, replace the diffuser and turn on the cooler.
* Wait 20 minutes and get a jacket because you are now freezing. (it might have something to do with the missing flesh claimed by the roof)
* 1 hour later, discover the float isn't shutting the water off and it's overflowing again.
* Turn off the cooler, shut off the water and decide to deal with it tomorrow. (note: wear long sleeves)

I swear... if it weren't for the fact that I ran this thing maybe 10 times last year and never paid more than $30/month increase on my power, I'd be installing central air.