Patti, I'm so sad to see that Ken isn't doing well! I know that hospice is a scary thought but as someone who works daily with individuals with disabilities, let me tell you that it can literally be a life saver. Great hospice nurses have a wealth of information and experience gained from previous patients that may be able to help get Ken back to eating. They can also be really dedicated advocates for their patients and families with regards to communicating with the doctors (which I know from experience is insane).
My mom has COPD and has been in and out of the hospital for the last 2 years. I have never been so frustrated as I have been in dealing with her doctors. Almost everytime she's been in ICU on the ventilator, I have had to DEMAND that they turn the sedation down so that I could get her to really orientate and communicate with her so she could focus on breathing and improve. So don't be afraid to literally harass his medical staff to get what you and Ken need! They have many patients and regardless of what people say, the "squeeky wheel" DOES get the oil.
Lastly, no matter how hard I try to convince her otherwise, my mom does sometimes just feel like she'd be doing me a favor by giving up and she starts talking about refusing treatment. When you feel that bad, how can you help but be depressed? But she is very motivated by my tough love approach when she gets down like that. Everyone is different, but its what works for us. I've had to really be tough on her at times about eating and getting up and moving. She always ends up saying "If I ...., will you leave me alone." and I say "Yep!" I hate feeling like the bad guy but if it keeps her going I'll do whatever I have to...
I hope that just a tiny bit of that will help you keep going! You are such a strong lady and I'll keep praying for both you and Ken. Lots of hugs and puppy kisses, from me and the puppy boys!
__________________  Misty & Jamie
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