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Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1  I understand where you are coming from with the assessment of her condition and the quality of life she will have....It is sometimes almost easy to be cavalier and say all the right things, ie...."Dont let her suffer", "Put her down", "she has lived a good long life", etc etc etc....but OMG....how hard it is to actually sit there with them, looking up at you, with eyes that plead for an explanation of what happened to them, or a look begging for help, or that soulful look of resignation to their fate, a battle they clearly do not have the strength to wage....I feel so awful for you and poor little Gina....I pray soooooooo hard for the news to be good and for the look in her eyes to say, "OK momma, lets get this show on the road! I'm ready, momma! Bring it on!!!! |
Very true. I'm not good at being cavalier. But sadly, when I went to spend time with Gina, the right decision was very clear.
Despite heavy pain meds, Gina was in pain. Her eyes pleading for help. We decided to go ahead and sedate her before I made my final decision. The damage was so much worse then I imagined. Intestines weren't affected, and there was no hole to the abdomen - But there was a MASSIVE amount of muscle that was just gone. It was much deeper then even I realized. Before sedating her we had her comfortable enough that we attempted a quick neuro exam. There was no pain response in the leg below where most of the damage was, and as extensive as it was - Little chance that it would have come back. We would have had to have taken the leg off. She was old, she had a bad heart murmur and early stage heart failure, she had mammary cancer and we had even been hesitating to spay her because of all her other health problems. And with the amount of pain she was in despite some very heavy pain medications, I had to follow my heart and listen to Gina. She let me know she couldn't take anymore pain. Her eyes where pleading for me to help her, and there was nothing more we could do. The chances where pretty poor that she would have even made it through the surgery that would have been required to remove the leg and try to save her. There where just to many other things to factor in, especially her age and health. So I told them not to even reverse the sedation and wake her up. I let her go on the table, holding her and kissing her and telling her how very much I loved her. I didn't want to make the decision, I called my friend that runs the rescue I've been fostering her for. She left the choice in my hands because she knew I wouldn't make the decision lightly. Really there was no choice. It wouldn't have been fair to her to put her through the long, lengthy, painful recovery it would have taken, if she even survived it. Oh my sweet Gina, my heart breaks for you, I feel as though I failed you!