How is she about grooming? Does she let you comb her daily? Sometimes it is being restrained that the dog is objecting to more than what is being done it.
If she lets you comb her then try spending a little extra time combing the top and gradually add more time and combing of the head. If you cannot comb and brush her without a scrap then you have an issue going on there
My Shih Tzu hated having his nails done. Three of us would try to hold him while someone cut his nails. And he was a little dog! We took him to the groomer. I couldn't watch but waited in the next room stressing out like crazy. The little guy stood on that grooming table and never moved while the groomer clipped his nails. I could hardly believe it. Try letting a groomer or the vet tech do it with you no where in sight and see how it goes. There are a lot of different nail grinders on the market now. IF she won't let you clip then grinding is an option.
Gracie hated having the bands put in her topknot at first but I would do it as quick as possible and distract her once it was in. I also got her a topknot pillow. It's a special pillow made for putting in topknots. The dog rests it's neck in the kind of U shaped pillow. If you just let her rest her head in the pillow and comb her head it can be relaxing. Once she is accustomed to that you might start trying to put a band in a small amount of hair. It's really important to do the grooming daily.
I just bought a couple more of the pillows from a YT member. If you scroll down on this link you will see one. I think she makes them in a few different colors.
http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/yor...beds-more.html