Thanks for all the advice, but I have tried a lot if not all of it and nothing seems to be helping.
I got Joli first and she is older. Somi is almost 1 and I have had her since September. Joli got spayed about a month ago, but it hasn't helped. I know it takes time to get all the hormones out of her system, but things are getting worse.
She was never super friendly with other dogs, but when we were at my mom's house with her dog [or they were at mine] after a day or so they would start getting along well and seemed to enjoy each others company. So I wanted to get her a friend so she wouldn't be as lonely during the day and was hoping to help with her other dog issues. And I read tons of things about how to introduce them and try to not make Joli jealous. I let Joli "find" Somi from in the closet and spent extra time with Joli and made sure to do things with Joli first [treats first, brushing and hair first, leash first, etc.] And she was actually fairly okay at first, but started snapping and the snapping went to pinned down jaw locked attacking. When I would try to snatch Joli up to get her away [after saying no, stop didin't work] Somi would end up being still in her mouth or get thrown from her mouth. Since I learn to not pick Joli up when it happens. I have also gotten her a muzzle to keep Somi from being hurt, but she will still try to attack her which is just as scary [but not as painful] for Somi.
I have tried all positive types of training and reinforcements I have read about, seen, heard of, or can think of. I have taken her on long walks to make her tired, but then she gets tired and grouchy and snaps easier. I try doing tricks with her to have one on one time and make sure I brush just her and do her hair without the other one. Any time she plays nice with Somi I brag on her and sometimes when she is being very nice she gets treats. I have tried lots of other little things too.
And actually they play okay with each other and Joli will share toys with her and will let her win tug of war and take the toys. Joli will usually either chase her and take it back [and then it will repeat] or find another toy. She also rarely has issues with sharing food though they quickly got into a habit of Joli eating and then Somi eating though Joli never snapped or growled so I'm not sure how the became a think. Joli also likes to pick up a mouth full of food and carry it off set it down and eat one at a time. When she does this Somi will sometimes sneak in and steal pieces [and though she is small and a little sneaking, she isn't THAT sneaky] and Joli has never gotten mad about this.
The attacks usually happen for no real reason I can figure out. Sometimes it seems it is because I am not paying attention to either one of them, if I am on the phone, working on something, or sleeping. But it is very unpredictable, which has made trying to fix it so much harder. I can't work with her getting better if I don't know when she is going to be bad. The only predictable aggression is around bath time. Joli LOVES bath time and every time I take a shower she will look at me like, is it my turn and if I say no she will turn away sad and if I say yes she will sprint and jump in the bath tub and look super excited. But Joli does not love anyone else getting a bath. She gets jealous when Somi gets a bath, so I am always very careful and try to give Joli lots of love and attention before and after, but it doesn't always help and Somi is in danger until the bath smells wear off.
I also want everybody to know [if you can't tell by my over explinations of everything] this is not a decision I am making rashly or lightly. This has been going on for months and months and I have gotten Joli spayed to help and tried everything and anything I can think of. I have also thought of getting rid of Somi instead since she is very well behaved and would be able to find a home easier, but my roommate has 2 cats that Joli doesn't really get along with very well either. So the stress situation wouldn't go down much except it would be more of my roommates stress instead of mine. She doesn't hurt the cats as much, she just thinks she is a sheep dog and needs to aggressively herd them into her room. I also think that Joli needs someone that can train her properly and hopefully someone that has a yard or the ability to let her run around more. She likes to play outside, but she doesn't like being at the dog park and since I live in an apartment it is very difficult to let her run. She is also a big jumper and I think it would be awesome if she could find someone that could teach her all the agility tricks. I would love to teach her, but I don't have the means, ability or space to do it.
I love her so much and I am sorry my post is long and possibly scatterbrained. I just want everyone to know that I love both of my dogs very much and this has been very hard on all of us. I just want what is best for all three [and five if you include my roommate and her two cats] of us and I really believe that Joli finding a home with either no other dogs or maybe male dogs [and probably even better male larger dogs]. But it is really hard to find someone with enough love for dogs to take Joli, but not already have a dog.
Thank you for all your help, but I am not sure any of us can take the stress much longer. It isn't healthy for any of us, Somi stays terrified and will sometimes shake horribly, I am often too stressed to sleep even when one or both of them are crated, and Joli's adrenaline level can't be good for her on top of her having to where a muzzle or be in her "room" and when Somi is in her "room" and Joli is out Joli hates it more than her being locked up and it becomes worse.
I keep thinking of things I want to say and I am sorry this post has gotten so long, but please know I love my Joli so very much I just want what is best for her. I am doing my best to find her a good home and would never give her away to anyone I didn't feel would be good to her.
Again thanks to everyone who is helping me and reading this. |