Tracy, I am so sorry you lost your precious Dottie. I remember the day I picked up Jack's ashes. I cried when they handed me the little box. All I could think of, "Is this all I have now." It made it all so real and so final.......Having suffered from the same loss I won't tell you that "time will heal", because it doesn't. You never get over it, all you can do is get through it. No matter what the circumstances of our loss, guilt, pain and a deep loss is there; it haunts our days, ruins our sleep, and tarnishes our memories. I had to come to the realization that some things were beyond my control. Oh, how I wished it wasn't so.....I would do anything in my power to protect and care for my boys.
I also struggled with the decision as to whether I should put up his things or leave them out, always reminding of his absence. Were they making me feel better seeing them or worse constantly reminding me of the loss???....A part of me didn't want to "feel better".The thought of me "feeling better" too quickly may actually seem disrespectful. "Feeling better" seemed a lot like "letting go," and I was not be ready to do that yet. I just left them out until I felt ready to put them away. Some things are still out.....
Grief as painful as it feels to us is inevitable, unavoidable, expected.... accept it, embrace it, allow it to take its course it's a testament to the power of love and attachments we have for our pets. May Dottie R.I.P.
Say not, in grief, that she has gone
But, give thanks that she was yours.
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.