[Beabble]

It's been six days today that Dotties been gone, every day without her gets harder and harder. We got her ashes back yesterday.... It's beyond hard. My heart literally hurts inside of me and I just want to puke. We're trying so hard to push forward but our days just seem to be full of tears that won't stop. Words just don't come to us, the silence is deafening.... I know I need to take her kennel down, but I can't bring myself to do it. All of our other furkids just want to be right here with us, in our face, licking our tears away, Mags and Jazzie sit in my lap as I type this, I know they know.... Elijah still sits in front of Dotties kennel, I think he's waiting for her to come back. People have told me to take her kennel down, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. For me it's like a double edge sword, on one hand, it kills me to walk by it and not see her in it, but on the other hand, somehow, it's a comfort still seeing it sit there. I don't want to do anything that's going to cause Elijah anymore anxiety or hurt. I'm so lost without her.... I used to tell our son when we lost our Isaiah a year ago, "he's only one breath and one heartbeat away," I now feel like I'm choking on those words. One breath and one heartbeat feels like like all the miles in the world, all I want is my girl back with me....