No wonder he runs and hides. Poor dog
I would run and hide too if someone was popping me and throwing me in my "safe" place and using it like jail. Have you ever been to jail? It's horrid.
My CaLi is not hardly 4 months and all I have to do is use a very disappointed tone and ask her "did you do that? Baaaad GirL" and no doubt does she put her ears back. She tries really tries to do better about accidents, even if she goes right by the door or a fluffy rug thinking it's the most like grass.
You need to think more like a dog begging for guidance and your approval rather than Being "PISSED off" about your couch.
It's kinda like...if you leave a bag a trash and the dogs get into it when you leave, use common sense and DONT leave trash where they can get it when you leave. DUH!!
Cover your couch and keep an eye on your dog and be diligent and consistent in your training. It's more your fault than it is the dog.
READ A BOOK, or do some research. sounds like your lazy.