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My lil friend · 12-23-2011, 06:28 AM

I think that the thing alot of parents forget is that it is a "privilage" not a right to be a part of your grown childrens lives. My SIL is SO in her childrens stuff that one of them moved all the way to Boston and the other two just deal. The only way I got to hold the new baby last Sunday was my husband met my niece at the door and held onto the baby with my SIL hovering,until I could put down what I was doing and hand the baby to me. The whole time she was in my home she acted like it was ALL about her and even dared to roll her eyes and belittle Mina because she is "just a dog" and wears clothes. This is actually my X SIL and I thought it very gracious of me to have her here so everyone could be together. She did atleast know better than to make any negative statement about my baby,I would of raised the roof off of the house and my kids would of been right there with me.
When we decided to home school 20 years ago,my MIL pitched a fit. It was bad enough that for the first few years I made sure that she wasnt alone with any of the children.
I am a stay at home mom,this is my JOB (that pays in hugs),NOONE is going to tell me how to do my job or rearrange my office. I dont care who in the family it pisses off. If they try and then think that I am a "B" then they will at least think before acting.
All that to say this, when it is your turn to be the mother of an adult or a MIL remember what you suffered and be a friend and mentor,but not a pain in the "A". It is hard to watch your kids stumble,but sometimes lessons learned hard are lessons learned best and you will have a relationship that allows you to comfort them and give them advice when they ask.
My oldest was hit on his motorcycle last week (he is fine,bike is toast). My DIL made sure that he called me right after the police. It was hard but when they went to the hospital I didnt go. They needed to be grown ups and she needed to take care of her husband. My DIL sent me updates every 30 min to reassure me and make sure I knew that he was ok. I cleaned house and it sparkles,but I did not interfer.

12-23-2011, 06:28 AM	#28
My lil friend Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FtWorth,TX,USA Posts: 3,269	I think that the thing alot of parents forget is that it is a "privilage" not a right to be a part of your grown childrens lives. My SIL is SO in her childrens stuff that one of them moved all the way to Boston and the other two just deal. The only way I got to hold the new baby last Sunday was my husband met my niece at the door and held onto the baby with my SIL hovering,until I could put down what I was doing and hand the baby to me. The whole time she was in my home she acted like it was ALL about her and even dared to roll her eyes and belittle Mina because she is "just a dog" and wears clothes. This is actually my X SIL and I thought it very gracious of me to have her here so everyone could be together. She did atleast know better than to make any negative statement about my baby,I would of raised the roof off of the house and my kids would of been right there with me. When we decided to home school 20 years ago,my MIL pitched a fit. It was bad enough that for the first few years I made sure that she wasnt alone with any of the children. I am a stay at home mom,this is my JOB (that pays in hugs),NOONE is going to tell me how to do my job or rearrange my office. I dont care who in the family it pisses off. If they try and then think that I am a "B" then they will at least think before acting. All that to say this, when it is your turn to be the mother of an adult or a MIL remember what you suffered and be a friend and mentor,but not a pain in the "A". It is hard to watch your kids stumble,but sometimes lessons learned hard are lessons learned best and you will have a relationship that allows you to comfort them and give them advice when they ask. My oldest was hit on his motorcycle last week (he is fine,bike is toast). My DIL made sure that he called me right after the police. It was hard but when they went to the hospital I didnt go. They needed to be grown ups and she needed to take care of her husband. My DIL sent me updates every 30 min to reassure me and make sure I knew that he was ok. I cleaned house and it sparkles,but I did not interfer.