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Originally Posted by imdll  I have had several "seasoned" members discuss with me how frustrated they are with how often people get attacked around here, paticularly new members who don't do as some have advised them to do. I'm going to guess they grew weary of banging their heads against the same walls.
The description that this sort of thing happened when someone else was a new member and they learned from the experience. . . . Are you kidding me? This sort of repeated behavior smacks of emotional abuse. It's like some people here are trying to tune others into the way things work around here. . . EXCUSE ME?! Can you see at all how that comes across? Maybe it should indicate something that newer members take exception to this sort of thing occuring. Should one really become desensitized and used to it?
What I have been trying to say is if this is a place for people to learn from one another then it's pretty much impossible if we drive people away by jumping all over them when they don't do what we think they should. If we truly care about dogs then teaching someone what we know would be helpful wouldn't it? We can't teach someone who isn't here anymore or who won't listen to us because of how we have treated them. Why would they see anything that we say as having value if we haven't treated them with any value? People are not automatically going to trust us. Trust is earned.
This is not the first time I have watched someone get jumped all over for not taking advice from other members of YT. I may be a relatively new member but I lurked plenty before I came here and I wasn't born yesterday.
Some of you say that people shouldn't be offended by the things you post and yet you will justify becoming offended yourselves because an OP didn't take your advice or handled something in a way you personally don't agree with. That's pretty darned hypocritical. If it's ok for you then it's ok for everyone else too.
How do you suppose it comes across if you give advice but then throw a fit when it's not taken? What kind of message do you suppose that sends? As I said before, the OP any OP has the right to make their own decisions. We can give advice but we don't have to freak out every time somebody doesn't do what we want them to do. This way of handling things is not benificial to anyone and if anything it actually damages this board because we loose members who could benifit from being a part of YT.
I know that we lost a lady from here a little bit ago from this same sort of attacking behavior. She wrote me before she stopped coming here. I personally wouldn't blame this current OP if she never came back or if she did, took on a different name.
I really don't see this as being what the original creator of YT had in mind when this board was put together and I think it's sad. |
people dont get offended when people on here dont take their advice, sometimes they just get frustrated because it is just common sense. Like when a pup has been droped 6 ft maybe a vet visit is needed