It is not okay to let baby teeth just sit in there. One or two -- probably won't hurt too much. Several retained, you are talking about bite issues, rotting, gum problems (that she will have to live with life long), adult teeth problems (also life long). She will almost certainly require a dental in her lifetime anyway. Not sure why the big push to not get it done... If this is something you and your vet are very concerned about, you could find a new vet or just go to a specialty hospital when she needs a surgical procedure done. There should be an anesthesiologist on staff...
Whether or not you want to spay is a personal decision. I would not let size stop me unless several vets said it was unsafe. Leaving her unspayed, you are risking mammary cancer and pyometra. And then you are talking about major surgery to take care of those things while she is very sick. Then suddenly her anesthesia risk goes up even more.
I would be deciding (with a qualified vet) just how long those baby teeth can safely stay. After that time is up, they need to be pulled... My dog's old vet wasn't too interested in removing baby teeth either. Set us up for a path of dental issues with her. She has lost many adult teeth now because her dental needs were not taken care of when she was young.
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