[luvmymonkies]

My God...I miss Maddie so much tonight. I think about her all day every day, but it's nights like this that tear me apart. I feel like someone has punched me in the gut and stabbed me in the heart. I'm so sad and so mad at the same time!! It's crazy that sometimes when you cry hard enough, for a split second, you feel like it's possible to turn back time or that it's just a dream. Why couldn't I have more time with her?? The days don't seem to be getting better, nomatter how cheerful I try to be. Inside I just feel sad and bitter. It's also hard because people don't really seem to understand how much it hurts, because to them, a dog isn't a big deal. I truely feel like I've lost a whole part of me. I feel like I've lost my child. You all are the only friends that seem to understand this kind of love for our little ones. I just can't seem to get it together. Everything reminds me of her. When I do the laundry, I look at where she would sit and watch me and she's not there. When I go to bed, I don't feel her little body curled up against my stomach. When I watch TV, she's not on my chest anymore. When I'm on the computer, she's not laying on my foot anymore. I can't stand it. I just miss her so much I don't know what to do with myself. I'm sorry, I just felt the need to vent and I don't have anyone else to vent to.