Just a few thought I'm not sure they apply but maybe they do and if so they are only meant to help:
Negative attention breeds seeking negative attention. You said he gets the most attention well ignore the negative let it go if it's not dangerous and then focus on positive reinforcement: only pick battles you can win.
Discontent is actually easily felt by children either between parents or at them.
Nothing works if nothing is consistent: reward the good punish the bad EVERYTHING teaches a lesson & is a moral teaching opportunity: that's the forever parenting plan.
>>>>Find something the child enjoys dedicate at least 15 mns a day (no notice just say hey get this out or we're going to do this) and DO IT WITH THEM. No punishment for negativity, no complaining to the child oozy positivity & reassurance do this for a week see a small change, after a month you'll be amazed. Here I do Lego's with my son, right now it's beauty/care with my daughter-we fail doing it daily but we use to & are getting back to it (we also do it after the minimum of 15mns reading time daily.
Passive unfocused events don't create bonding that needed i.e. movie dates or going out to eat, taking him to a park-unless you climb the rock wall with him-swing next to him (it's fun be a kid for half the time there then go visit with the other moms on the benches).
I do all the time neighbor lady says she thinks I have more fun at the park than the kids do-I don't trust me the rolly slide pinches my bottom the teeter-totter stinks after you have to scrunch you knees, my son's friend think I'm a crazy mom my daughter's friend think I'm a dork (seriously me can yo beleive it?) stinking tween girls but whatever I know I'm kewl and they come to me with things I know their parents have no clue about both my daughter and son and their friend confide in me things I'm sure they wouldn't otherwise if they felt they couldn't trust me or I wasn't so open to accepting what they have to say and calmly (often behind the scenes handling issues)-huh maybe I am the cool mom...
Watch children with a propensity to harm animals, smaller children. It's a dangerous sign of severe psychological distress that must be addressed immediately.
Maybe we don't have the same parenting expectations here: my belief, as a parent, it is your responsibility to feed, cloth, protect, teach, and guide them through this life-until they are 18 at least.
Not be burdened, board, over bearing, living vicariously, falsely "parenting", or trying to create mini me's you have to respect who your children are you can give them your values, but enforce them on them or they'll rebel from them, you might just be better off giving them whatever skills you can pass on to them.
Best of luck hope Mia does well if she's not re-homed-remember it's harder to rehome an older dog than a pup think about it-, but that's a distant second over my hope step son does better. |