This is just my opinion......it is worth what you are paying for it, ok?
My son plays football. I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have sat in my car waiting on him when practice was suppose to end 30, 45 minutes ago. I am with you, it is very irritating!
Also, with that said, we have heard about some of the things said to the kids as well. You are right, some are not nice from what we are hearing. My child has to run if he is sick and can't make it to practice. A doctor note don't matter. And yep, we see the bruises too.
Ok, here comes my opinion. If you say anything, how much will your daughter get to play? Who will be the one paying for it in the end? Sure they might say they won't tell who said anything, but how can you be sure. Right or wrong, some sports are just like this.
As a mother, I understand your side 100%. I know how it is but I also know that many of the coaches in the schools have lots of "pull". I have learned to hold my tongue and let it go. The day my child comes home and tells me to say something is the day I will. Until then, I have to learn to control my mommy feelings. I wish I could tell you to just go speak your mind but my gut feeling is that your daughter will pay for it in the long run. Good luck to you. You are in a rough spot. I know and I understand.