I felt this way about my Westie when he first came home. He was so different from our laid-back little maltese that had passed four years earlier.
I was concerned about the Westie breed by all the 'high activity' and 'high exercise levels' that I read. But, I let my son get one anyway! All the descriptions were true. Ringo was stubborn, he would not do anything we said; he hid under the deck for hours; he dug up my yard . . sometimes I didn't really like him much and vice versa, I think.
It took some time and effort to bond with Ringo. One thing that really helped us was taking agility classes. Now, I'm not necessarily recommending this for you - but we had a great trainer who recognized right away that Ringo was the leader of our pack. Once we got used to working together in a fun way - us giving commands and Ringo following them - he was like a whole different dog. We actually had fun together and enjoyed being together. Plus, he was getting a lot more EXERCISE.
I quickly learned that Ringo needs, at the bare minimum, a mile walk per day. This helps drain some of his crazy energy and, he is just easier to live with.
Your puppy will eventually calm down. The poop eating may stop. (Though Lucy still likes goose poop). I would try getting her into puppy classes where you can do some basic obedience together and have some fun. I would try walking both dogs together to improve their bond.
Bottom line - if you see her as just another source of stress - then that bond between you two is not going to form. You have to start actively working with her to address some of your issues.
Try this:
Nothing in Life is Free