[Lucyana1129]

I have always had a lot of pets. I love animals with all my heart. My husband just returned from deployment (8 months). While he was away I gave birth to our 2nd son. We have now moved into a bigger house and I have been struggling to keep up with the babies, the house, my marriage, and our 4 animals. So yesterday I did something I thought I would never in a million years do. I gave up my parrot. I brought him to a parrot rescue. He is a double yellow headed amazon and he was very attached to me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For a while now I haven't had time for him and he was left in my room most of the day. I knew it was coming and I knew he would be happier. I know he will be. There are people there that are going to work with him and find him a good home. He gets to be around people all day and other birds instead of in my room. I know deep down I did the right thing but it hurts so bad bc I know that even though I explained it to him he will never truly understand and he will think I abandoned him. He will think I don't love him. I love him so much. Parrots are incredibly social animals and I was as close to him as he was me. I wokee up this morning and cried when I didn't see his cage and hear his noises he makes every morning. It is so much harder than I thought it would be. I was selfish for a few months in keeping him bc I knew how much I would miss him. His name is Echo but he thinks that's my name and calls me all the time. When I put him in a cage at the rescue I kissed his head and told him I loved him whille I cried. I can only hope that he felt that emotion. The stress I have been going through lately is so much at times that I simply do not know how I will continue to cope. I don't know when things got so hard. Echo, like all my pets, is like one of my babies. I had to do what was right for him but I wish the hurt and saddness I feel in my heart would listen to my brain telling me that. I know this has nothing to do with yorkies (other than that Bentley does feel how sad I am and hasn't left my side since yesterday) but I don't have anyone else to talk to. Even if no one reads this, it feels good to get my emotions out somewhere. I always knew military life would be difficult but I never expected to be alone so often. I never expected to feel so sad all the time. Its so hard to make friends when they all leave so often. I feel like all I do is say goodbye to the ones I love. Including Echo. Thanks for listening. Sorry for the pity party.