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Originally Posted by TammyJM  I think parenting styles are very personal and each person has their own idea of what is right and wrong. Before having my children, it never crossed my mind that I would raise my kids any different than how I was by my parents. It wasn't until I had my own babies that I knew I wanted to do things my own way. I never quite understood just how huge of a responsibility it is to nurture this little baby into becoming a wonderful human being. I just thought that hey, I turned out just fine and I was spanked or at least had the threat of it. I have 2 incredible children (ages 6 and 7) and we do not have to spank them.....they didn't even do "time-out" when they were toddlers. Don't get me wrong, I believe in being firm and I strongly believe in teaching my children that we live life knowing that there are consequences to our actions. Do they fully get this concept.....no. But they do to a certain degree and it's all about learning this as they grow and I can't do this if I cloud their minds with the fear of being hit (and I do, personally, refer to spanking as hitting). I may parent differently because one of my BIGGEST fears is that my children might someday question my love. I am tearing up at the very thought. As they have gotten older, they tend to argue with each other often so they have been doing some "time-outs" in their bedrooms. I have to tell you, I sometimes go to my bedroom and cry because I feel so guilty for using an angry tone with them. I know some will think that this is nuts and extreme on my part, but I cannot help it. I want them to ALWAYS feel my love. I am not saying that a parent that spanks doesn't want the same because I know this is just not the case. For me and my children, hitting is not necessary. I am a complete sap when it comes to my babies and, like I said, it is very important that they always feel my love. We can be driving down the highway and I will just tell them how incredible they are and how much I love them (out-of-the-blue). I do this because I have had such dear, special people in my life unexpectedly die and we just never know what life holds for us. If something were to ever happen to me, I do not want to leave this world without them knowing just how cherished they are. I cannot bring myself to lift my hand to hurt my children.
On the other side of this issue.....I do have friends that believed in spanking and I know that their children turned out great and they have wonderful relationships with them. |
I think you are such a sweet heart. And I can see the love you have for your children.
I will say my view of being a parent is different now that my girls are grown. I agree.... we do not have to PUNISH our children we need to DISCIPLINE which by definition is to TEACH!!!
I so agree with you on showing your children love... that is why we have children. But ... Please .... don't worry about your children ever thinking you don't love them. now.. they may act like they don't love you or you don't love them when they are teenagers.. don't dispare .. there is light at the other end of the tunnel!!
I will add.... as a parent, a teacher, a girl scout leader, cheer team mom, vacation bible school teacher, camp Councillor.... children need discipline and they need limits. They want limits. They need a little fear of consequences (or if you rather use the word respect) and they need to learn to respect themselves and others. I think when a child is not taught (disciplined) or they do not have limits they don't learn to respect themselves.
Geezz..IDK.. I was strict by some parents standards and too easy by others..I just decided I was who I was and I loved my girls and I did the very best I could. They are adults now, in mid 20's and we are very close and they are doing well. In 15 to 20 years you will look back and see how well you have done and what great kids you have.. remember that through the teen years
