I see here on YT what some wish for those that abuse animals and such. Pretty nasty sometimes. Did you ever think that that person might have done differently had they received a better upbringing? Though some of those folks may have been abused as a child, many likely had no discipline or guidance. Too little discipline can have the same effect as too much, IMO. I believe it's reflected in our society today, too. Not spanking is a recent phenomena in our society and so is the breakdown of respect, lack of a work ethic among many and general moral relativism. Hmm...might there be a connection?
OK, that's my thoughts. I respect others opinions, but I'd like to have mine respected, too.[/QUOTE]
I agree with you that there is a connection between no spanking and a lack of respect for authority.
I have asked a couple of my 6 how they personally felt about being spanked. MY 18yr old said "that he felt that he had never been beat and that looking back he appreciated the fact that I always explained the "cause and effect" of discipline because if you dont learn it under your parents roof you may end up learning it behind bars. It helps him color within the lines of our society and stay out of trouble." He also stated that " he has met people his age that he little respect for their family or parents and they dont stay friends very long". I got pretty much the same answer from the other two that I spoke to.
It us unfortunate that our society sees the word and action of a spanking as the same as a beating. I can tell you from personal experience that they are not the same (I was the kid). Above all else and no matter what form of discipline you use,, NEVER discipline out of anger. This is the hardest part of parenting. I have gone to my room or the backyard to cool off and decide what proper discipline is to be used. When I have wanted to yell or discipline out of anger I try to remember two things. First my mother in law taught me "the more upset you get the softer you talk,it helps you stay in control and not harm",great advice from an older lady. The other would be my older brother commenting to me when my mother would snap "she is letting her brains hang out" and he would laugh. So with that visual I would always try to take a deeeep breath before speaking and check the volume of my voice.
No Im not a perfect mother and no my children arent perfect either,but I saw so much ugly as a child that I didnt want to revisit it in any form. As a child I told myself "what does not kill you can make you stronger" and "I can choose to do better". |