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Originally Posted by My lil friend  I think that EACH form of discipline has a use and time. As a parent we have to TAKE THE TIME to figure out what works with each child for each situation. I was the kid you could beat black and blue and it didn't work. There is NO one right or wrong way,other than yelling and beating out of control (because then you are just having a tantrum). What works for my family does not make it right for everyone or wrong for everyone.
So spanking yes? or no?,there is a right way and a wrong way and if you personally can not have self control,DONT use it. If you have a problem with it DONT use it and dont criticize those that do. |
I respect your opinions.
However, I don't agree that there is a right way to hit a child. In my world, that statement couldn't exist. Just as, there is no right way to hit a dog. Hitting, popping, swatting - whatever anyone wants to call it - it's an inappropriate physical act that you're passing on to others. And that 'other' internalizes being hit, and it is something buried deep in their psyche - and may cause problems now, and later in life.
Also, you're saying find "what works" -- well, a hit may "work" for the PARENT in stopping a behavior. However, those hittings may NOT be working for that child's inner esteem - and that child has NO way of knowing this or expressing that intellectually, at this age. As a result, *that* will effect him greatly as he develops intellectually, later.
There is no way to justify hitting a child. To have such a larger physicality over a small child, and then to use that advantage to hit, and instill fear and obedience? To me, that's victimization, not parenting.
A child should never have to fear being hit, from their PARENTS. Parents are supposed to be a child's ultimate safe haven. Fear of being hit is not a safe haven.