I know that nothing anyone can say can really do justice to the grief you must be going through.
We lost our Jack Russel (16yrs) about 6 weeks ago and it was the hardest thing ever had to go through. We had him put to sleep and it's been difficult to replace those harrowing memories of his last moments with the good memories from the years he'd been with us.
Gradually though things are improving.... feelings of sadness, guilt, empathy etc are waning and apart from the odd moments, we now remember the good stuff.
It's hard... you have our sympathies. Good luck
