Yes, you're all right. I'm sorry I even posted this - one day I'm resigned to it and the next day, I'm a complete wreck.
I've tried putting myself in the foster mom's shoes. While I know I would have handled it differently, I guess I can understand her motives. She IS, after all, there for the dogs, not for the parents, and thank goodness we have people like her and all the other agencies and foster parents in this country to take in these helpless little ones. Maybe she's had enough experience to know when it's time for the parent (OMG, I almost said biological parent!) to let go, or to MAKE the parent let go. Maybe she's not answering my emails any longer because she knows how hard it is for me to let go and feels if we keep conversing, it will only prolong that. It's definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Yes, I would have handled it differently, but the bottom line is that I have entrusted my babies to her care, and I'm confident she will do everything that can be done to ensure their happiness and well-being.
I do wish that I could just see them from time to time, not in person, for that would be far too traumatic for all of us, but just see some photos or a video, or even just hear from their new foster mom how they're doing, if they're playing, if they're still together, if they're afraid of anyone in their new home. That probably won't happen, and I have to resign myself to that. It's just hard.
I think my therapist will be eating filet mignon and drinking champagne for a while.
__________________ El Capitan |