Seriously though, I've been told if you mow one direction one week, the next week mow in the opposite direction, and don't mow too short about 3 inches is more healthy for the lawn. And only mow when the lawn is dry, not wet from rain or dew.
I have a compost pile for lawn clippings and leaves, alternate layers and stir it once or twice a week and it turns back into dirt you can use in flowerbeds. Once you get a healthy compost pile going, don't empty it completely, save a bucketful full of old compost to innoculate the new additions. To start one, get a bucketful of compost from a neighbor with a healthy pile.
If you add worms, the worm poo is like growth hormones for plants, and you can start a worm farm and sell them to fishermen/women!