Its been a year and a half since I lost you and it doesn't really get easier. I think about you all the time and I just wanna let you know how much I still love you. I remember the wonderful memories we have. 8 1/2 years of amazing days. We should have had longer. We should have made double the memories. I promise when I see you again we'll make more than double the memories but until then I'll cherish the ones I have. I'm crying right now and I know if you were still here you would lick away my tears the way you used to when I was little and even when I got older. My 3rd birthday is definitley one of my best. I don't remember much about that day but I do remember that i wanted you even though you were the biggest and that day my heart got a lot bigger. I wish you were here right now. I wish you could comfort me the way you used to when I had nightmares or the thunder scared me. You were scared to but you always sat in front of me anyways. I know you're having fun up in heaven and I'm sure you got over your hatred of cats and made friends with Keekee but I wish you were here with me instead. I know you're not in pain anymore but I wish I could hold you one more time. I wouldn't let them take you from me. I'm sure you remember me holding you in my arms and crying and begging them not to take you.
I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm sorry I had to leave you. I'm sorry for a lot of things and I wish I could make sure you know that I didn't want to leave you that day. It was the hardest day of my life. The hardest thing I ever did. Even daddy cried. I love you SO much and until I see you again I'll be thinking about you. You will live on forever in my heart. Like i used to ay every morning before school.....
See you soon baby boy I love you too much!!!
