Here's my two cents, of course you can take it or leave it
. Yes, I 110% agree that our dogs are pack animals and that barking at
everything lol is their way of "allerting" us to a possible threat, BUT, our dogs also need to know that we are the pack leader. It's completely fine and normal for a dog (even one who understands his place in the pack) to bark when he perceives a threatening sound or sight, but it should only be to allert the pack leader, not carry on and on. That to me says that dog thinks HE'S the leader and it's his job to protect the "den".
Granted, I absolutely want my dogs to bark their heads off if someone ever broke into my house, but there's a difference between that (which to a dog will obviously be a real threat because that "intruder" will come into your home uninvited by you, the pack leader, and no doubt be projecting a very negative energy that any dog should naturaly pick up on) and the wind blowing or rain hitting a window or a shadow. I surely don't want them barking at every little thing, I think that's nervousness and not a healthy mentality for a dog to live with. Alice is still learning that she's not supposed to bark at every little thing, but she's learning. We're at the point that when she starts, all I have to do is go over to where she is and as soon as she sees me she stops and it's getting less and less (now, at six months old and 2 months in my house, she actually has to see or hear something out of the ordinary to make her bark). My other 2 dogs will only bark if someone comes to the door, but as soon as I or my husband go to the door, they stop and sit behind us. (Still very much doing thier "duty" of protecting us if need be, but they know that if we are there it's not their place to decide what's a threat and what's not)
Since you're not crating him, I'm assuming he sleeps in your bed? Something about that is making him nervous and unsure of your ability to protect the "den" while you're sleeping. Maybe it's the darkness, or more likely, you haven't "invited" him into your bed and bedroom properly. My suggestion is, start during the day - walk him into your bedroom on a leash, stop just short of the doorway and put him in a "sit", you walk into the room FIRST and ask him to follow. Go around the room with him on the leash but don't let him just go around, make it structured. Wait for him to be calm and paying attention to you, then sit on your bed but make him stay on the floor and sit calmly. Then invite him up but right away tell him to "sit" or "down". Once he's calm, lay down on the bed, but any excitement what so ever from him and he has to get down. Then make him sit again on the floor, wait for calmness and invite him back up. This is "owning" your bed, which as far as your problem goes, should help him relax more at night because he'll understand that it's your place to rest together, but since you "the pack leader" are in controle of that space (even when you're laying down to sleep), there's nothing for him to worry about and he can sleep contently and safely.
I don't think you should "punish" this behavior, but I also don't think you should encourage or reward it because it's a nervous, fear based behavior and that IMHO should never be followed up with praise or affection because it will only reinforce it. Teach him that your bed is a safe place to sleep and he doesn't have to be on "guard duty" all night because YOU are in charge of it and will handle any potential issues and he'll be fine
One quick thing I picked up on
, you said your husband is the "alpha" and you're the "mommy"; tempting as that may be (not saying there aren't plenty of opportunities throught a day to give tons of affection and "spoil" our little furbutts), but you have to change that idea in your head. You're BOTH the "alphas", trust me, you're dog will be happier