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Sharan · 04-23-2011, 07:33 PM

For a while I have been wanting to post, express my loss to those who would truly understand. On March 11, 2011, I lost my sweet boy, Bijou. At first I couldn't even speak. He was with me for just about 15 years. I had this hope/belief that he would be with me longer. I had 18 years in mind. Well, no matter, even if he had lived that long, it wouldn't have been nearly enough. Only you out there in Yorkie land understand. My little angel was my best friend through so many ups and downs. He was perfect, I understood him, and he understood me. I can't imagine ever having another companion that would be his equal. He responded perfectly to me. I felt a real and meaningful connection with him that can never be matched. It's as if he could read my thoughts and feelings. He had been going down for some time. It had been years that my dear boy could no longer hear my voice. He could still read me, and he learned hand signals intuitively. It was never an effort to teach him. Then eventually he couldn't go up and down steps. He couldn't jump up on the stool to the sofa. He was too unsure at first, and gradually wouldn't even attempt. He slept a lot in the last few years. Every once in a while a spark of puppy in his eyes, he would try to play for a moment, and then stop. I knew our time together was growing short, and I dreaded the day. I hoped he would quietly pass in his sleep at night. But, one morning, his last. I could hear him whining, quietly. He never cried or complained all the years we were together. I knew he was in pain. He let me hold him close the whole day. I spoke with his vet on and off during the day. He had stopped eating for days, and had been under doctors care. That day he just fell over three different times. I couldn't bare seeing him suffer. He continued to sigh and lay with me all day. I made the decision to put him to sleep. I always promised myself I would never let my baby suffer. I held him until it was time. He was so sweet. He licked my tears as I held him. How could I ever let him go? The pain was almost too much to bare. I still don't know how I had the strength to do what I did. I second guessed myself, I hated myself, I just wanted him BACK!!! The pain was more than I could bare. It took a couple weeks before I could speak about it at all. I'm surprised that his death was the worst grief I have experienced so far. And he was just a dog. Just a dog... But he was my best friend, and my sweet baby. I will never forget this amazing, sweet companion for the rest of my life. I've had many pets, dogs, cats, and more. But, never have I had one so special and perfect. He was my once in a lifetime. I have another Yorkie who is very sweet, and well behaved. Her and I will go on without him. She is very much loved, and very dear to me. Her and I will stick together. But, my Bijou, my sweet boy, I miss him so.

04-23-2011, 07:33 PM	#1
Sharan YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Odenton MD Posts: 7	My sweet boy For a while I have been wanting to post, express my loss to those who would truly understand. On March 11, 2011, I lost my sweet boy, Bijou. At first I couldn't even speak. He was with me for just about 15 years. I had this hope/belief that he would be with me longer. I had 18 years in mind. Well, no matter, even if he had lived that long, it wouldn't have been nearly enough. Only you out there in Yorkie land understand. My little angel was my best friend through so many ups and downs. He was perfect, I understood him, and he understood me. I can't imagine ever having another companion that would be his equal. He responded perfectly to me. I felt a real and meaningful connection with him that can never be matched. It's as if he could read my thoughts and feelings. He had been going down for some time. It had been years that my dear boy could no longer hear my voice. He could still read me, and he learned hand signals intuitively. It was never an effort to teach him. Then eventually he couldn't go up and down steps. He couldn't jump up on the stool to the sofa. He was too unsure at first, and gradually wouldn't even attempt. He slept a lot in the last few years. Every once in a while a spark of puppy in his eyes, he would try to play for a moment, and then stop. I knew our time together was growing short, and I dreaded the day. I hoped he would quietly pass in his sleep at night. But, one morning, his last. I could hear him whining, quietly. He never cried or complained all the years we were together. I knew he was in pain. He let me hold him close the whole day. I spoke with his vet on and off during the day. He had stopped eating for days, and had been under doctors care. That day he just fell over three different times. I couldn't bare seeing him suffer. He continued to sigh and lay with me all day. I made the decision to put him to sleep. I always promised myself I would never let my baby suffer. I held him until it was time. He was so sweet. He licked my tears as I held him. How could I ever let him go? The pain was almost too much to bare. I still don't know how I had the strength to do what I did. I second guessed myself, I hated myself, I just wanted him BACK!!! The pain was more than I could bare. It took a couple weeks before I could speak about it at all. I'm surprised that his death was the worst grief I have experienced so far. And he was just a dog. Just a dog... But he was my best friend, and my sweet baby. I will never forget this amazing, sweet companion for the rest of my life. I've had many pets, dogs, cats, and more. But, never have I had one so special and perfect. He was my once in a lifetime. I have another Yorkie who is very sweet, and well behaved. Her and I will go on without him. She is very much loved, and very dear to me. Her and I will stick together. But, my Bijou, my sweet boy, I miss him so.