Francie please don't teach others to keep their loved ones insecure, it is NOT the way to an open lovingly relationship!
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This case is a very good example of WHY we must learn to always talk from our selves and not talk about others.
Your BF is right, he cannot read your mind or know what's going on in your end of the world. I bet that when he didn't call you, you were as much sad as you were mad. And the sadness can be your friend.
Tell him, not that HE makes you sad, but that you get sad when you need him and don't hear from him. (This is called taking responsibility for your feelings) And learn to pick up the darn phone when you feel like talking to him. You need him and that's all the reason you need to not wait for him to call, but grab the phone and call him yourself
Another thing is - do not listen to people who have opinions on wether you should dump him or not - they have absolutely no clue to what you are like with him and what he is like with you. You must listen to YOUR heart and noone else.
[Said he was sorry, did the man thing trying to make you feel better and not doing much good]
Tell him what you need from him - he is NOT a mind reader! Tell him that what you need him to is just listen and be compassionate not try to solve problems or cheer you up (or whatever you want) Women in generel are not very good at telling their men what they like and want and men can't guess it - and they shouldn't!
Never send emails to scold or complain, always do it in voice or person. Emails get misunderstood sooo easily, there should be a law against emailing feelings.
[at times he is calling, e-mailing, and IMing me all the time and other times I feel like I have to remind him]
Well, it takes 2 to tango, you are as obligated to call, email and IM him as he is you. So maybe when he is busy you are the one doing it a lot and at times where you are busy he will be the one doing it.
As to wether this example is typical guy behaviour - please try to remember that again - it takes 2 to tango - if you get your message clearly across to him about what you need and like, there will be no misunderstandings. And if you have doubts as to what he means by something - ask him.
Openness - is the clue to a genuine sincere relationsship - the more open you are and the more you are able to speak for you, the easier it will be for him to help you get what you need. And of course the same goes for him
Good luck