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Originally Posted by Rocky-Baby  it's funny and kind of you to mention condolances in terms of my "terminal condition" (MD quote) - I've made multiple mentions of the hell I'm going through (I itch more than the dog because of the vascular legions literally eating holes through my epidermis from head to toe - not even thinking about what this disease is eating UNDER the skin because all surgeons are too hesitant to cut...) yet everyone is kind of over-reacting to his pain...I gotta say in all honesty I'd trade my life for his in a heart beat - because besides itching he has the life... the reason I care so much is because since this brain tumor just *landed* on my pituitary my hormones both rocketed while others plumetted and a week after my honey moon at age 23 doctors were insisting I get a radical hysterectomy (which I didn't do, thank god...but I haven't menstruated since my honeymoon...I'm turning 26 April 11th...) my biggest dream - the only thing that got me through a very, very difficult emotional and physically traumatizing childhood (or lack-there-of...) was that I could CREATE (what my vision of) *UNCONDITIONAL LOVE* by creating a LIFE...and from age 8 until I was diagnosed I'd watch TLC's "A BABY STORY" back-to-back everyday and I couldn't wait to get pregnant...I never thought I'd get anyone to commit to loving me unless I physically gave them birth hence they'd *have to* love me out of gratitude... and then it was all gone ... then we got a yorkie and were bate-and-switched - the dog turned out to have canine epilepsy and after trying to kill us about 50-100 times in a complex partial seizure-like state we finally agreed with the vet that he be euthanized...and it took us over 2 years before we even SPOKE about getting another dog...now it just seems everything I touch turns to sh*t ...  |
Oh, it sounds like you have had such a bad life with way to much horror for any single person to handle in a whole lifetime - let alone such a young and loving person! The pain you describe is palpable and no wonder you are feeling so desperate. There are no words I can use to say how sorry I am that such a nice person is having to endure such things as you live through daily and who can blame you for wondering why your life has had such misery. It seems that some of the people in this world who really live the most meaningful lives are those who have known great pain and illness and fought their way through somehow. I will pray that your own medical conditions can be successfully treated and that you will come through these awful times strong and true. I believe in the power of prayer.
Please keep us posted with updates and let us know how things are going.
