[roseylovestosho]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

I'd be very careful about going down the sexual harassment path, true sexual harassment is really horrible, and they aren't only making fun of your looks. Remember, men are no more than little boys, I don't know if you've had brothers and learned that their sense of humor is different, but I think girls who grow up with boys have an easier time. They tease each other all the time, and put each other down all the time; they laugh it off though. This is really the way many men connect with each other, they don't compliment each other, they insult each other. I mean have you ever heard a man say to another man, "I really like those shoes your wearing today." My grown sons still tease each other and tease me about everything, I think I've heard compliments from time to time, to each other, "Cool shirt," but mainly it's teasing. My advice is to learn to laugh it off, and if you want to be accepted by them as an equal you will have to gain their acceptance by manning up! Learn to laugh at their dumb jokes if possible. Be careful not to destroy them, they have fragile egos, believe it or not. I really don't think they can take much teasing from a woman. Ask to be included in the study secessions, tell them you'll bring some cookies. Men eventually learn, that they like to be around woman more than they like to be around men. Give them time, and have pity on them, its not easy being a man either. After seeing your picture, I'll bet you intimidate them, you're very pretty.

Thank you Nancy. I wasn't planning on going down the sexual harassment path--it's definitely not something that I'm willing to put myself through. I only have one older brother and never really went through much teasing in that respect, but growing up I did always end up being "one of the boys" as I always got along better with boys than with girls. Somewhere along the lines that changed however, and I think I may have just become more sensitive than I once was due to my own insecurities. I think I have stepped on their egos as you've said because one time when one of them tried embarrassing me in public I embarrassed him right back...and I'm pretty sure after that was when I stopped being invited to group study sessions/social activities. After that, I stopped being sarcastic right back and really nothing has changed except that the comments have gotten pretty harsh and I'm still isolated. As I mentioned a little earlier, this is only in a group setting when all 4 of them are together. Whenever I talk to any of them one on one they are extremely nice to me, even complimentary...which is why I am extremely confused by the situation. I know I have to grow a thicker skin, but I guess I just feel lonely not only having to do schoolwork all the time, but then not even really having any friends here that I can talk to...either way what I'm trying to say is that yes at first I thought it was just them making me out to be one of the guys, but when I started being excluded from group work is when I thought that the way they were treating me was a result of something else...