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REDStacey123 · 02-20-2011, 12:13 AM

8/18/2009- my 'Mamaw' (who practically raised me) died at age 99. I was by her side when she passed away. Three weeks later, my dad passed away on 9/11/09. The day of his funeral, I had to take my Mamaw's Chihuahua to the vet.....3 days later, I had to have him put down. On Nov 3, 2009, I had to take my 15 yr old Rat Terrier/Beagle to be put down- cancer....she had a tumor the size of a marble grow to the size of 2 large grapefruits in her abdominal area. My 'Baby' got to the point where she would stare at walls, wouldn't eat, and I had to make a pallet/pen in the middle of the livingroom for her to sleep. I had to give her pepto....WHEN I could get her to lick my finger. I had to keep 'puppy papers' close & had to keep her confined to her pin when we worked. I would come straight home to make sure she was ok. I did everything I could as long as she didn't seem to be in pain because I was her mommy & she was my baby....and I could not deal with more death in my life and my husband.....well, he just would not face reality because he knew what needed to be done...but he couldn't bring himself to do it either. Baby's not eating came later but that was MY final straw. I knew that I had to love her enough to let her go. So by myself, I got her favorite blanket, pillow & toy and I took her to the vet. It was very peaceful and I cried like a baby as we wrapped her in her blankie. I took her to my family home (where all of our passed beloved pets were buried). I dug her grave, placed her in a box, with her favorite things, said my good-bye and buried her.....alone. I felt that it was almost a poetic 'ending' doing this alone because I was the one that chose her as a puppy & brought her home.....but oh, it was by far the hardest day of my life (except for 8/18/09 & 9/11/09). Through all of that, I did have a feeling of.....relief, I guess. Even though I loved her dearly, she was at peace & I wasn't consumed with dread, sadness, or consumed with feeling guilty for all those 'if I had only....' or 'what if I did this...'

Now....all that said....I went through the worst, hardest time of my life in 2009.... but I came through it....and you will too! It is so hard to let our 'babies' go.....but we have to love THEM enough to do it. When you & your husband are ready, you'll find the strength & courage.

I will add that 8 months later, I had to put down our 15 yr old 'Gabby'....my husband went with me because of regrets from not going with Baby. It made a world of difference having him with me & he felt better about himself.

I will say a prayer for you, your hubby, & your baby, Tina. Keep loving her every moment you can.
(Sorry this was so long.) God Bless!

02-20-2011, 12:13 AM	#45
REDStacey123 Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 13	8/18/2009- my 'Mamaw' (who practically raised me) died at age 99. I was by her side when she passed away. Three weeks later, my dad passed away on 9/11/09. The day of his funeral, I had to take my Mamaw's Chihuahua to the vet.....3 days later, I had to have him put down. On Nov 3, 2009, I had to take my 15 yr old Rat Terrier/Beagle to be put down- cancer....she had a tumor the size of a marble grow to the size of 2 large grapefruits in her abdominal area. My 'Baby' got to the point where she would stare at walls, wouldn't eat, and I had to make a pallet/pen in the middle of the livingroom for her to sleep. I had to give her pepto....WHEN I could get her to lick my finger. I had to keep 'puppy papers' close & had to keep her confined to her pin when we worked. I would come straight home to make sure she was ok. I did everything I could as long as she didn't seem to be in pain because I was her mommy & she was my baby....and I could not deal with more death in my life and my husband.....well, he just would not face reality because he knew what needed to be done...but he couldn't bring himself to do it either. Baby's not eating came later but that was MY final straw. I knew that I had to love her enough to let her go. So by myself, I got her favorite blanket, pillow & toy and I took her to the vet. It was very peaceful and I cried like a baby as we wrapped her in her blankie. I took her to my family home (where all of our passed beloved pets were buried). I dug her grave, placed her in a box, with her favorite things, said my good-bye and buried her.....alone. I felt that it was almost a poetic 'ending' doing this alone because I was the one that chose her as a puppy & brought her home.....but oh, it was by far the hardest day of my life (except for 8/18/09 & 9/11/09). Through all of that, I did have a feeling of.....relief, I guess. Even though I loved her dearly, she was at peace & I wasn't consumed with dread, sadness, or consumed with feeling guilty for all those 'if I had only....' or 'what if I did this...' Now....all that said....I went through the worst, hardest time of my life in 2009.... but I came through it....and you will too! It is so hard to let our 'babies' go.....but we have to love THEM enough to do it. When you & your husband are ready, you'll find the strength & courage. I will add that 8 months later, I had to put down our 15 yr old 'Gabby'....my husband went with me because of regrets from not going with Baby. It made a world of difference having him with me & he felt better about himself. I will say a prayer for you, your hubby, & your baby, Tina. Keep loving her every moment you can. (Sorry this was so long.) God Bless!