[celstu1]

My brother moved out to New Mexico about 4 years ago. He is ready to move back here to New England. He came out last weekend for 2 job interviews and stayed with me. It was nice to have him but if you know my brother he's very overwhelming. He is the squeaky wheel that always got the oil.
On the other hand, he is helpful, successful, hard working and driven to be the best. He is also not very supportive and now has a family with a wife, 1 baby and another one on the way. He also has 2 large dogs.

I live about 30 mins North of where he is looking for a job. My grandparents live where he is looking. We both have full apartments in our basement. My brother wants to move into my grandparents basement. However wherever he lives he wants rent free and he'll pay 1/2 the utilities and his own food and necessities. Then he said he wanted to stay for up to a year. I told him he was welcome into our basement apartment for awhile until he gets back up on his feet, a job, a house, etc... But he wants my grandparents basement. My grandparents are understandably nervous about him and his whole family living in their house. On one hand they could use the financial help that he'll provide (although all their bills will double and he'll cover that) and he can help out with yard work, heavy housework, etc... But my grandmother has Alzheimer's and my grandfather is her caretaker and he has CHF (Congestive heart failure). They are comfortable in their little lives with their little house and are nervous about my brother's family moving in their home. My grandfather is anal about cleaning, bugs, the septic system and my mom and I think my brother is crazy for thinking he can live there with 2 babies and 2 dogs.

My brother is now soooooo ticked off that our family is so non supportive and no one helps anyone, they only help the ones that are screwed up (alcoholic aunt, druggie cousin, etc....) but not the ones who are hard working, give a lot and are good clean decent people. I get where he is coming from because it does seem true. However i don't get why he can't be inconvenienced with a 1/2 hour commute (I commute an hour each way every day) to live somewhere (with me) that him & his family will be welcomed and the help would be welcomed also.

Now he's mad and saying he might not move home. I don't believe that but he is saying he will never help anyone in the family again and that the family sucks. I said that I offered, what about me? and he said I am part of the sucky family. What the heck did I do????

He does not seem to understand that moving his whole family into someone's home and taking up their lives for up to a year, RENT FREE no less is A LOT to ask of people. Like a REAL LOT! I feel like he's a spoiled brat. If he wants to move back I would think he would make sure he had a job, a place to live (apt) and some money saved up to start looking at houses, but he thinks that he'll just move back and let the family pick up his mess by giving him a place to live, cheap with his family and dogs while he gets back on his feet. I think that is bizarre... but he does not see it!