Try this: Instead of constantly comparing her to a 'normal' dog... look at her like she is 'handicapped' or 'challenged'. That way you will stop being disappointed with her behavior that is 'abnormal' and you will begin to see and celebrate the behaviors that are new to her, as she learns a new way of life. Everything she does, she does because she has learned to survive that way.
What if she stays the way she is? Could you accept her and still have her be welcome in your home and heart? If you say yes, then start from there. It will take the pressure off her to perform to the standards you have in your head of what you want your family dog to be. That's what starting from 'scratch' is. Once she feels your acceptance, she will begin to grow even more, and learn to trust you and other family members.
And to say it another way: It's like you've acquired this broken, little shell of a dog, and you put her in a 'normal' household, and you're expecting her to behave like a 'normal' dog. She has no clue what a 'normal' dog is or does. She doesn't play, because she's never been taught or allowed to play. If you throw a toy for her, she's thinking she did something wrong and thinks you're throwing it at her. So yes she is scared, because she just doesn't know.
Will she ever be 'normal'? That's hard to say. It depends on how 'damaged' she is. All dogs react differently to things and progress through training at different rates. You will have to nurture the 'normal' in her and teach her what you expect her to do and to be, through love, understanding, praise, and patience. And in the meantime, accept her as she is, because it is not her fault that she has turned out the way she is now up to this point. When you see she has a problem with something, you will have to work with her through it, to alleviate any fears she has, with gentleness, encouragement, and reassurance. |