No need for an apology.... this whole forum is a learning experience. When we're not learning about behavior, training, illness, or things to buy our FBs, we're learning how to help others, and how to manage and cope with the emotions that the unpleasant things like illness, disease, injury, and death can bring on inside us.
From my personal experience, there are good days when I feel strong and try to help (too much), and the days I don't feel so strong, and tend to visit the 'lighter' forums. I just try to do what I can, knowing that other members will carry on in my absence.
It can become overwhelmingly depressive, so I would do a little at a time... work on handling things slowly and always visit a funny thread before your sign off for the day.
It also helps to exchange phone numbers with a YT friend, just in case you feel the need to talk to someone (or cry) and I stress a YT friend... bc no one else could ever understand how one can get so upset over someone else's pup, especially someone you don't even know, or 'know' only from the Internet.
I had to call my YT Buddy 5 months ago. I had been reading the S&I forum and became very sad and went to read a 'Welcome' new member thread which I thought would lift my spirits.
In the thread, the new member had a bad problem with their new puppy. I broke down crying uncontrollably and I could not stop crying. I have never been one who cries alot, and not knowing how to stop myself, all I could think of was to call my friend, whom I had never spoken to over the phone.
As I dialed her number, I was worried she wouldn't know who was calling, because I was still sobbing hysterically and was having trouble talking (and breathing) without crying. Thank God she answered the phone and not her DH, all I could get out was her name, and 'This is Kathy'. I thought she would hang up at any moment thinking it was a prank caller....
She knew immediately (I think) it was me, and then thought I was having a problem with one of my dogs. Through my sobbing, I got out 'It's not mine they are fine... I'm losing it!' Kind soul that she is, she got me calmed down and we talked for a very long time that day, about everything one could possibly talk about! I don't know what I would have done without her number, or if she hadn't been home that day when I did call.
After much thought, I think I went over the edge that day, a bit beyond my limits, and was shocked reading the 'Welcome' thread that really wasn't. I feel more in control since that happened, and know better where my limits are, and know too it's not good to push myself too far, as I am no good to anyone nor myself when I am that upset.
Hopefully no one else will have this experience, although I'm sure others have had this or something similar occur. I just wanted to warn you to not to try to do too much, too soon. You have a kind heart and your support in members' time of need will be appreciated. |